The inmates are running the asylum

OK, maybe I’m biased. I mean I did risk life and limb to escape the confines of that mad hatter’s den of iniquity.  But over at Wako, crazy is the new Normal.

First off, the inmates patients are – hmmm, how can I put this nicely - INSANE! I mean bonkers, don’t even bother inflating a life raft.  They stare off in space, they pace in circles, and they mumble with all the soft cadence of tin cans clattering on pavement.

And those are the good days.

Sure, exec director Adam Tessler keeps things tight as a drum. The patients prisoners have that screwy computer chip in their brains designed to keep ‘em mellow yellow.  But that’s more for if they escape. In-house, there’s an array of tasty side dishes on the menu, just in case things go psycho haywire, which is kind of common, like every day:  wild sessions involving new age barfaroni hologram crap, and spa workouts using water torture therapy.

All I can say is it’s a good thing the staff are on pharmaceuticals.

Which leads me to that flame-haired deviant Nicky Sanders. Nicky’s heroin of choice is Mr Heartthrob himself Adam Tessler, and she controls access to him like she’s holding down Fort Knox with an Uzi. Just memorize these fine points and it’s all you’ll need to know:  (1)  She can’t stand any female within a 100 mile range, and (2) she can’t stand any man, woman, child or PIG who gets in her way.

Dr Sara Hobbs, the esteemed (?) psychotherapist of the joint, puts up with Nicky – or maybe Nicky has the goods on her.  Either way, the fireworks are a-comin’ – cause this firecracker’s gonna blow.

Watch out - she's gonna blow!

WAKO - It's all in who you know

NICKY (sitting at desk, staring at Dr Tessler’s computer):

Email from Dr Leon Coopers:  “Adam,  Just wondering how it’s working out with Daisy Oh. Regards, Leon Coopers.”

Email from Daisy Oh: “Thank you for the opportunity to intern at Waiklund. It’s an honor to work with the very best.”

ADAM TESSLER:  Good morning, Nicky. Hope you had a nice weekend.

NICKY: (jumping) Oh, Dr. Tessler, I didn’t hear you come in.

ADAM TESSLER:   So my kids tell me every day.  Any messages?

NICKY:  Yes, um… Michael from the Preservation Society wants you to call. And Dr Cooper’s assistant called.  There’s a board meeting tonight.

ADAM TESSLER:   What would I do without you Nicky? I’d be totally lost.

NICKY:  Just here to help!  Although, that does remind me. I debated whether or not to mention this, but I’ve heard some pretty negative things about the new intern Daisy Oh.

ADAM TESSLER: Really?  Well, I’m sure it’s all conjecture.

NICKY:  I know Daisy comes across as competent and certainly she has that sweet bubbly act down pat.

ADAM TESSLER:  Daisy comes highly recommended by Dr Coopers.  I think I can spot a nut job when I see one. Wouldn’t you agree, Nicky?

NICKY:  I didn’t say she was a nut job.

ADAM TESSLER:  I stand corrected. Onward to the next issue of the day. The current psych appointments are on my desk.  Could you please copy Sara Hobbs?   …Oh, and Nicky, I appreciate your concern.

NICKY:  I’m sure I over-reacted. No worries.  I’ll contact Dr Hobbs immediately.

ADAM TESSLER:  Thanks. Oh, and Nicky,  you got some ink on your hands.

Dearest Diary,

Turmoil at Waiklund with the emergence of a new intern from UNTN named Daisy Oh.  I’ve been trying to get Adam to let me vet these students cuz he may be brilliant, but he has no clue re day 2 day operations.

I find this girl unpleasant in the extreme + am quite sure will shortly find reason that makes her unsuitable.  Like when I told her not to put her humungus Dolce and effin’ Gabbana tote under her desk, the look she gave me. What the hell was that about?  In just two days, she has repeatedly overstepped her bounds!

I find it pretty impressive that she feels she can take me on. 

Roland watch, day 55:

How many times do I have to flash my credentials to the guard?   It’s just so much incompetence.

Yeah, moron, I have an uzi under my seat!!!!

<3 <3 <3

FILE under “Lookin’ Good”   Just brightened hair color and had mani + pedi.  When Adam sees me typing with these new baby blues, LOL don’t know what he’ll say.  But I know he’ll LOVE IT!!!!!

Email messages:

To Dr Leon Coopers: “Dear Professor Coopers: Waiklund is great. Thank you for suggesting me as an intern there. How can it get any better? See you in class.”

Dr Leon Coopers, professor at UNTN

To Dr. Adam Tessler: “Thank you for the opportunity to intern at Waiklund. It’s an honor to work with the very best.”

Dr Adam Tessler, Director of Waiklund Institute