As Mayor, it gives me great honor…

My press secretary just released Normal’s stellar events calendar for the year.  Tourist season is upon us and Chief Watts assured me he’s getting his ass in gear to round up that crazed bear.  Why does it take so many phone calls for one lousy bear?  Nevertheless, I feel a calmness and a serenity…

and Kira – you’re so connected to every Tom, Dick, and Harry here.. wondering if I could run some ideas by you?

Well, don’t mess it up, Tolstoy.  Here’s my card. Give me a call when it’s ready.

That reminds me, I’m working on a new catchphrase…

Whatever… Hey, listen, Calvin, when’s my bike going to be ready? Your sleep fest kind of messed up my sched.

Geez, that Kira is another hottie.

Grabbing espresso at the Pick Me Up. There’s that hot babe, Daisy Oh. Always alone. Need to remedy that.

Wondering if my old campaign slogan would look good on town welcome sign.

Forbes lists Normal one of Top 10 Small Towns in U.S,three years in a row!

Quote to Larry King: “Despite the photo, I do NOT know the Salahis.”

As Mayor of Normal, it is important to be a role model at all times. You can quote me.

Hey, Richard [Branson], following-up on our vision to bring EVO battery stations to Great Britain.

Driving wife and daughter to our plane for their return trip to Woodside.

Oh for God’s sake, there’s that moron, Jimmy Franklin.